Sex In Two Cities

After I called it quits with my ex, I was mortified. I thought he was the ONE. No, I mean THEE ONE. I couldn’t believe my happy ending, ended. When reality finally began to sink in, I told myself I was going to spend this time to focus on me, my dreams and my career. I knew my soul mate was out there, I just assumed I would have to wait a little longer.

One day, one of my clients came in for a consultation, and ironically I vented to her about the ‘loss’ of my relationship. I explained to her that I’m going to spend this time to re-evaluate and self-reflect on who I am as a person. This stay-at-home suburban mother bluntly told me, “No! Keep looking. Do not settle! Right now, you have every idea of the things you deserve in a man because you just came out of a relationship involving everything you didn’t want. What you are looking for is fresh in your mind. Go after it. If you wait too long, you will forget and become complacent with whomever comes along because you’re vulnerable and feel lonely.”

This was the best advice I could’ve received in the midst of my heart break. Her words made perfect sense! I know I didn’t want any guy, I wanted my guy…my soul mate. So I went back to the drawing board, and wrote down everything I wanted in my “Mr. Right”. I prayed that God would bring me this man I’ve never met before in due time because my patience felt so limited.

Without too many details (because this is still new), I met….my soul mate. I met the man that I always envisioned in my dreams, but couldn’t put an identity on. If I was 5 years younger, I, like everyone else would dismiss the emotions as mere puppy love.


But every day, when you feel you’re growing in and because of someone, you can no longer consider those feelings a teenage love affair. Even though this person is over 1,200 miles away, I’ve never felt a stronger connection with anyone than if he lived in my own backyard. In such little time, I came across someone that has the drive, ambition and spirit I’ve always yearned for. He understands my thoughts and most importantly: accepts me as a person. It’s such an eerie, yet wonderful experience. He is the one people may take a lifetime to never find….


My point without completely jinxing a “something wonderful” fairy tale, is to be persistent and never give up on the things you know you deserve in life. Too many people become content with compromising. Do not settle for less than you’re worth. You deserve so much more. You deserve to be happy.





  1. thepurpledreamer · November 1, 2015

    That is very, very good advice!! Too many people settle and settle too soon because they’re terrified of being alone. That my theorie on why the divorce rate is so high. Great writing lady!

    • tamarastylist · November 8, 2015

      I’m just seeing this notification! Thank you so much Dolly!

  2. athousandlightyears · November 24, 2015

    So inspiring I love this. I never considered that before but wow

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