Do you remember the scene in the movie, The Devil Wears Prada when Anne Hathaway’s character says her relationship is on the rocks and her fashion colleague turns to her and says something along the lines of, “Honey, when your relationship is up in flames that means you’re getting a promotion.”
Well darling, let me be the first to tell you: That’s so damn true…
Whenever my personal life is in shambles, my professional career is blossoming like wild flowers. Or when my personal life is going too damn well, my work life is suffering. Its so nerve wrecking. Why can’t it all be smooth sailing and the balance scales of life be even on both sides at the same time? Would that make living way too easy? Life must be a beach, and I’m presuming our lives are the boats. If we’re experiencing nothing but clear skies and minimal waves, what will there be to keep us on our toes and sharp? As unfortunate as it is to endure, life would be kind of bland and monotonous without a bit of chaos somewhere.
When my ex and I officially broke up for the last and final time, a month later life blessed me with a new car. Talk about clearing dead weight for new and better things! It was unexpected but a total boost of confidence. I literally went into the dealership for service on my previous car, sauntered over to the sales department and walked out with a brand new car that evening. I had no idea this would happen. I didn’t carry any cash and I was wearing workout clothes from being in the gym prior. It was almost like the heavens and eternal skies opened up just for me! I felt amazing…
The romantic getaway in Vegas I planned just three months later, ended shortly after the trip. However, I did receive a promotion and raise with my current employer a few weeks following. That is totally my definition of winning when all is said and done. You can’t put a price on happiness, but success truly does feel wonderful. (Lets weigh the life scales in this scenario: Penis or pay raise? Penis or promotion?) God, I see the trend here!
Dear Penis, I’m investing in a chastity belt. Bye!