Rules for the Exes

Lose contact if there’s still feelings or unfinished business there. 

The End…
Lol, that would be so rude to just leave you like that right? Probably. But nonetheless, that sums it up. If you and your ex are playing “who’s better off”, then stay away. Focus on the present, because the past doesn’t have much for you right now. 

What else can I say?  Tons of water and good eyeliner? That’s a good segway. 

So yes. God is good. The universe is in my favor…continue being Prayer Warriors. 
Trump is our President (Sigh).




Real Friends Are Not for Sale!

Hello 2017.

How are you? I’ve been waiting on you for the last few months now. Since you’ve finally arrived, a billion hours later (like a true Jamaican) I think it’s time we had a talk….

We’re going to behave this year okay? None of that craziness… on either end. You’re gonna keep your a** in order. No losing your marbles. No, wondering if stripping is an option to keep Sallie Mae off your back. No, picking fights for no good reason. We’re going to be a great humanitarian this year. We’re going to stay away from excessive cheesecake binging, and more importantly: remember that real friends are not for sale!!

I thought about adding a smooth transition, but forget that…this is way to pertinent: You can’t buy real friends. Period.

You may be wondering, where is this coming from? What did I miss? What are real friends??

 Sometimes it isn’t nessciarly what we missed, its what haven’t we been paying attention to. Pay attention to the real people in your life. The ones that can’t be bought. The friends that won’t only come over to finish your wine, but they’ll actually cook you dinner while they drink it. A real friend will go in your fridge, complain of the little options you have, then make a sandwich and possibly share some with you. 

A real friend won’t wait until you’re at your worse to ask if you’re okay. That’s the epitomy of real friend, and the mall buddy you want to roll with. I see “faux” friends way too often. They come in shopping together, asking if this shirt looks nice. The fake friend says, “Yes” when it looks horrible. Or, “No, take that off,” when it really looks amazing on their friend (that really eats me up inside).

Your real friend will call you out on that new low life jerk you’re dating, yet help you stalk his social media page at the same damn time. Your real friend should almost be a free therapist: there’s an unwritten confidentiality waiver floating around, and you can tell them all of the crazy thoughts that come to mind without fearing backlash. That’s a friendship that can’t be bought, and shouldn’t be compromised. 

So do yourself a favor: Welcome in 2017 with great times, better underwear and real friends. Think of this change as a store purchase return policy. You have thirty days to return that hideous little black dress, and that fake friend that talked you into buying it. 
Sincerely Your Friend,