They say blondes have more fun. I can assure you, that’s hardly the truth. I possess an inner blonde. She is cold, stiff and has the personality of a foot. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t had any form of sex since college midterms. On a positive note my inner blonde is professionally exceptional ( I like to call her ‘Amy’), and profoundly book smart. Amy is my go-to voice of reason for all work assignments, presentations and career-related ventures. She is a force to be reckoned with. Amy hardly ever takes no for an answer, and would most certainly claw her way to the top (within moral reason of course).
One might say, “How can you be so sure she’s a blonde?” Simple. ‘Amy’ is very dippy with little to no street smarts whatsoever. She has no charisma, no sympathy and even less of a social life. But goodness has she helped me land all of my corporate jobs and internships. I bring Amy along when most appropriate: Fashion Week, professional networking, and client-related trainings. She can make a hell of a resume and thoroughly compose a business proposal, but she can’t land a date to save her life. I know this because she is the part of me that longs most for the power couple dynamic. Unfortunately, I’m sure she intimidates the hell out of men.
My fiery, engine-red head vixen gets all of the dates. She has the sass, the girl power and the social life. ‘Keesha’ gets hit on and rejects suitors left and right. She pops her gum, bites her lip, is full of confidence and isn’t afraid to show off her curves. Keesha is the definition of a non-blonde that has the most fun. She lights up and takes over a room. She’s witty, sensual, street-smart and very vocal. She’s the only girl invited to the “BOYS ONLY” events. Keesha is my inner red-head. An urban goddess that doesn’t have time for child’s play.
Then there’s my brunette. She’s very soft much like her hair color, and the medium between both personalities. This side is the nurturing, understanding and a very sympathetic one. My brunette is vulnerable, cries at those pesky animal abuse commercials, and loves the fine arts. She’s super laid back, would eat pizza all day, and ‘Netflix and chill’ alone until she couldn’t anymore. My brown-haired personality loves to express her creative side. My inner brunette is me, just plain old, sweet Tamara.
For years, I thought I was bipolar or had multiple personality disorder. Now I’ve realized that’s not the case at all. I’ve simply had to learn how to be a chameleon and assimilate to different environments in order to survive. Honing more than one persona helps me to handle various situations on a daily basis. Sometimes my brunette needs my inner blonde to complete a project, or my inner red-head needs to come out when things are heating up and Amy just can’t get the job done.
I went back and forth about this post because it is such a vulnerable part of who I am. I am not only giving you me, I’m sharing all three layers of myself. After having a consultation with a client, the topic of suicide in the women’s African-American community came up. I decided I have to be transparent on the ways I cope with depression
and making it through life on a daily basis. Suicide is never an answer. In many races including the African- American culture, women are taught to be strong and hide their weaknesses. I found an outlet, and I hope this helps women to find positive ways to deal with self-acceptance. Life can be tough, but I always remind myself that another day in the race is better than not being in the race at all.
Find your inner blonde, red, blue and pink goddesses. Do what you need to keep yourself in the race darling. Don’t give up.